So, today as I woke up….. I am in a somber mood. Why is it that everyone thinks I am a good catch, but I never seem to get caught? Is it because I am looking, longing for a partner to love me for me, as I will do the same for them…. Every guy I meet thinks that if they take me to a movie or dinner, they are entitled to come back to my place…. For the cookie?? Is it a vibe I give off? What?? Statistics show that for every man there are at least 7 women. Why can’t I find that man that is for ME only. Where do I begin my journey?? Where should I go? To find that “different breed”. Most people say you want a GOD fearing man, but look at those, the majority of them cheat, lie, and deceive…. Are my standards to high? Should I lower them? I just don’t get it… am I looking for the Mr. Right now and not the Mr. Long term? How does one differentiate between the two……
Sometimes I wish I was the ugly duckling, because those hood rats (sorry to say) can keep a man. What do they do, that I don’t? Sometimes, I wish I was still in my relationship and just bit the bullet and kept my mouth shut, maybe he would have learned to love me for me, and I learned to just let things go, maybe I should not have demanded so much…. Maybe I should have just given a little bit more. I think he would’ve eventually changed…. Right?? (GOSH, I miss him dearly) What happened to the time where the MAN was the MAN, where he did what came natural, and not was demanded or asked… What happen to the MAN that our mothers, grandmothers, and their mothers where married to. Why have the roles reversed?
Could it be that the women before us raised “soft” boys, and didn’t instill in them how to take care of the household and become a MAN, or did they raise Daughters to become too “INDEPENDENT” and to not need a man, to not put up with the basic differences in a relationship to make it work?
I for one, believe deep down that maybe I am “to INDEPENDENT” whereas I come across as I can take care of myself, that I don’t need a man, or wait this is what I have heard the last couple of weeks…. “See you make too much, you have everything, I can’t offer you anything, because you already have it” What?!? … So am I not suppose to be able to take care of myself, and my son, am I not suppose to be Independent for my family….. What happen to where we can come together and share what we have, I balance you, you balance me…..
Why AM I intimidating to EVERY man I meet??
I have decided that Once a Month (*edit* maybe more than that), I am going to dedicate a POST on Being Natural, My Journey, and reflecting back on my feelings/apperance for that month.
